"This is the third time you deleted a whole paragraph," Toni said to me as she munched on the bowl of Fritos I placed between us. I looked up at her and made a face. But she was right, I have been struggling with that to text Haez back ever since the other night in the dorms.
Fuck. I thought to myself as I deleted yet another paragraph of text.
"Why are you breaking up with him again?" she asked through bites.
" We can't break up if we aren't together" I responded back. Toni threw up air quotes, then popped another few chips in her mouth.
"He has a girlfriend," I said
"And?" she shot back
"I'm not a slut like you?" I said laughing. She shot me a bird and laughed back.
" No offense Sib', you have never been the one to care"
I looked away "I do now okay?"
"No, not okay," Toni said " I have literally SEEN you take what you wanted, not in a slut way but in a bad bitch way" She continued "WHY do you care about properly courting THIS n**a?"
I snorted. Me? Courting? Please.
Toni must have read my mind "YES. YOU." she said poking me in the arm. I flinched, her nails were coffin sharp. " You are trying to break up with the best piece you have ever had - Your words. Because he has somebody but clearly wants to kick it with you"
I love Toni but I swear she needs to shut up about this. She doesn't get it, Haez makes me not think straight. He makes me feel all warm, and then I forget about the rest of the world for a while. Next thing you know my grades slip and I lose my chance to finish law school! I have done it in the past with my boyfriends- forgetting everything about myself just to see a smile on his face, to get a hug.
Our night together, I could describe anything short of making love. I know he probably doesn't feel that way about me. He told me when we were together that he would never "disrespect the main". So any hope of him leaving her for me is dead.
