To Clifford Remone Smith of now Lehigh Acres

 Clifford,

This is for you. Because you decided to block me on all avenues of social media and won't answer my phone calls or texts. 

I am writing this because you ignore your son.

I am writing you because you keep telling people that I am the bad guy and that you can't see your kid when you know exactly where he is.

I am writing this online because that is the only way to get your attention.

I am writing you this because you re-married and had a kid with someone who already has two kids with two different dads, but don't take care of your firstborn child. 

You called me a stalker when I had to pay for a skip trace to find your current address because you move around so much. I needed to serve you with court papers so I could get my son a passport because you refused to cooperate with me and get him one. After all, you kept making the excuse that I was going to "Run away with your son" (The one you never see).

I am writing this because I am tired of bit*hing to my friends and family, sounding like a broken record. I keep getting frustrated every time our son has an issue that he would like to talk to his father about or when he asks why you aren't around and if it is because of him.

How are you leading a household? Certainly not by example. 

What's worse is that you practically begged me to keep the baby when I was pregnant and said you will take it if we ever broke up and it was so stupid and I should have never believed you in the first place but I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt because I loved you. But here we are 13 years later, and you have not seen your son but a handful of years of his life. And that's if you decide to lump up all the times you have seen him consistently. 

The last time I really spoke to you, you were trying to make me feel bad for going to court so I could get my son's passport. "You're ruining lives over a passport".

You blocked me because I asked you to get our son a haircut during the long weekend and for some reason If you couldn't let me pick him up early so I can get him a haircut You said ok and you would take care of it but then when I come to pick him up during the regular time he's still not had a haircut and then when I ask you about it you decided to text me blocked in all capital letters.

Everyone keeps saying that he's better off without you and that is not how a man should be in someone's life and that's just a bad example of what a man should be, and I understand that you are quite literally the worst human being I have ever had the pleasure of knowing and if I had gone back in time I definitely would have made better decisions cameron would probably still be here but you wouldn't be the **** father. 

Your family is just as **** delusional as you are. I understand why your mom couldn't keep a man; she also couldn't keep her legs closed because now there are 9 of you **** on the planet that came out of her crotch. She was trying to say that she was going to get grandparents' rights when the first provision of grandparents' rights is having an established relationship with the child. I can tell you 100 percent that my son doesn't know that lady.

You never had a consistent man in your life; even your own father is estranged to you, and that is something you told me yourself. And now you're doing the same thing to our son, which is also crazy because you have a son by this other woman. Do you think that taking care of her and her children absolves you of any **** that you do with mine?

I asked you several times if we could get something established on paper, and you said you would do it and then ended up five years later not actually doing it. So I did it, and now all of a sudden you're giving me crickets. When I actually decided to go to court and get this established on paper so you don't actually have to kidnap my child from me again.

You wanted to have a baby with me for control, and I accept that, but on the other side is responsibility for that life you created. Can't control what you never see.

You have all my personal information, and you know that there is an open-door visitation so please do not make the excuse that I have been keeping you from your child.

Shateera Romisha Wyche-Smith,

You don't have anything to do with this so I really don't have anything to say to you beyond that as a woman I am very disappointed in your behavior you should have been encouraging him to see his child but instead you decide to post my child without my permission and then try to antagonize me. You quite literally have three other kids with 3 different baby daddies, so you would think you would be a little more understanding of my situation, but you are young, so I understand that you may not have the wisdom and experience to navigate the situation with your husband.

I am not blaming you for anything because you are supposed to be submissive to your husband and follow his leadership.

I don't get it

 So I don't know why I thought this man would be any different Than any other. Men that I have dealt with in the past because, at the end of the day, they're all men. And. Their base instinct is bullshit. And maybe I shouldn't say bullshit because. They're men and they are driven off similar things. But it's kind of boring and obnoxious. Like, I don't know what. How I'm feeling right now. But it's not like a genuine love for the male species.

So I have been attracted to this guy for a While now. And like, we got to talking, got to chit-chatting, and it. At first, he didn't like show an interest beyond platonic, which was cool. That's fine. I respect that because, you know, he had a girlfriend and everything, but he had drive and he had a business that I was interested in. And., I wanted to be a part of that and. When I saw. What he was doing, I was attracted to it because I've never been around a man who was like. Motivated and driven to do what they want to do and hit their goals in life. I've always managed to meet the ones who are OK with the status quo. You know. I didn't feel like they were going to be a good fit into my life. So, I broke up with them or I never took them seriously.

But then I met this person. We'll just call him Jamie. So, I met him. A long time ago through a friend. And at first, it was a little weird because she and he were dating and I did consider her like a friend for a while, or at least an acquaintance and stuff like that. But in my mind, I didn't really feel like they were a good fit because I know her. As much as I've gotten to know him, he was a lot more. Educated So. It didn't seem like they had a lot to talk about, if that makes sense. But that was not my relationship, so I guess I can't really speak to that.

But Fast forward a couple years later. I'm still seeing him around. And we have been. In the same social events, in the same areas at the same time. So it seemed like a good. Time to, you know, approach him. Especially since me and the girl are no longer close (If we were even close in the first place)

So we have been getting to know each other over the past couple of months. I've expressed interest in his business and I am interested, I actually really do want to invest in his business, but I can't at the moment because of other financial obligations that  I can't seem to get out of, But as we've gotten to know each other. He's mentioned that he has been dating someone and he had. Been for the past year and some change. And he considers her serious. But my question is, how can you consider her serious if you're out here gallivanting with whomever?  So normally not my business, right? But. He seems to believe that, because he is doing “everything” at home, he should be provided the freedom to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants. When I asked him if his girlfriend shared the same sentiment, he responded by telling me no, and he wouldn't bring it up because why would someone put that thought in their woman’s mind?

But MY GUY! And then he sent me this video

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cw2131urbYv/?igshid=NzVmZjhhN2QzYQ==

 

So, I agree and disagree with the justification behind this video. One, I don’t think she is talking about a boyfriend, I 100% believe she is talking about a husband in a marriage. I also don’t believe she is talking about breaking the sanctity of marriage and purposefully having multiple relationships or sexual encounters with different women.

She is also very old, so she was alive in the times when women could not survive without a man. So, I understand her mindset. She was also alive during a time when groceries were a nickel.

But I am not that type of woman. If you are sleeping with other women, and you are taking care of everything at home, why can’t I in turn sleep with other men if I am taking care of everything at home?

His response was that women are not prone to sleeping with multiple men. Which I guess is true? But a lot of women after the age of 30 get a “sexual second wind” which their sex drive increases exponentially. A lot of men in their 30s deal with erectile dysfunction issues, so I am not sure if that information is accurate.

Anyway, that is neither here nor there, I really just wanted him for sex, but he seems to think I want a relationship or something from him. He gets upset when I don’t ask how he is and that he always has to ask for sex.

Uh? Yeah? Because I have gotten to know you and I realize that you:

a.       Don’t make any money

b.      Cheat on your girlfriend for whatever reason

c.       Willing to justify bullshit

I don’t know if it's insecurity on his part or something, but I feel like he is run by money, and if he had more money, he wouldn’t have to pimp himself out to women to get it. Whatever it is I fell for the bullshit for a little because I was thinking with my vagina, but now that I think about it. He can’t provide me with anything that I can’t find somewhere else with someone who is willing to be faithful or at least close to it.

 Like, I seriously doubt everything at home is okay, not that it is for me to comment on. But shit doesn't make any sense to me. Are men hunters ALL the time? Does that mean no matter who you decide to spend your life with you will always be sharing him with another woman?

 

Put some Respeck on My Name!

So,  I told you I  have no idea how to work out right?  I have never had to. I ate what I wanted and I never got any bigger no matter what it was. I literally am made up of 80% chocolate and the other 20% is pure unadulterate rage lol. So imagine my surprise and denial when I stepped on the scale and I gained like 20 pounds. Horrified is NOT the word. I decided that  THIS YEAR! I am going to make some serious changes in my life. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOjkiioMtoc

Imagine my surprise when one of my friends on Facebook is dating a girl who has a history of being an athlete with her own vlog. It was like a sign that I couldn't ignore. So as of January 1, 2022, I have not been drinking soda, I have cut down my juice intake and increased my water intake. I have already shed some pounds too! 

So to all you who have weight loss goals #YouAreNotAlone ! We will be on this journey to a better body together! I know for a FACT I am going to hate this (because I hate change) but I am going to LOVE my flat stomach! Summer body anyone?!? 

Since I don't  know anything about working out, I have amillion and a half questions!  Like what is the best workouts for my fitness goals? How will my allergies affect my weight loss journey? And alot of others! I am off to do some research!