I don't get it

 So I don't know why I thought this man would be any different Than any other. Men that I have dealt with in the past because, at the end of the day, they're all men. And. Their base instinct is bullshit. And maybe I shouldn't say bullshit because. They're men and they are driven off similar things. But it's kind of boring and obnoxious. Like, I don't know what. How I'm feeling right now. But it's not like a genuine love for the male species.

So I have been attracted to this guy for a While now. And like, we got to talking, got to chit-chatting, and it. At first, he didn't like show an interest beyond platonic, which was cool. That's fine. I respect that because, you know, he had a girlfriend and everything, but he had drive and he had a business that I was interested in. And., I wanted to be a part of that and. When I saw. What he was doing, I was attracted to it because I've never been around a man who was like. Motivated and driven to do what they want to do and hit their goals in life. I've always managed to meet the ones who are OK with the status quo. You know. I didn't feel like they were going to be a good fit into my life. So, I broke up with them or I never took them seriously.

But then I met this person. We'll just call him Jamie. So, I met him. A long time ago through a friend. And at first, it was a little weird because she and he were dating and I did consider her like a friend for a while, or at least an acquaintance and stuff like that. But in my mind, I didn't really feel like they were a good fit because I know her. As much as I've gotten to know him, he was a lot more. Educated So. It didn't seem like they had a lot to talk about, if that makes sense. But that was not my relationship, so I guess I can't really speak to that.

But Fast forward a couple years later. I'm still seeing him around. And we have been. In the same social events, in the same areas at the same time. So it seemed like a good. Time to, you know, approach him. Especially since me and the girl are no longer close (If we were even close in the first place)

So we have been getting to know each other over the past couple of months. I've expressed interest in his business and I am interested, I actually really do want to invest in his business, but I can't at the moment because of other financial obligations that  I can't seem to get out of, But as we've gotten to know each other. He's mentioned that he has been dating someone and he had. Been for the past year and some change. And he considers her serious. But my question is, how can you consider her serious if you're out here gallivanting with whomever?  So normally not my business, right? But. He seems to believe that, because he is doing “everything” at home, he should be provided the freedom to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants. When I asked him if his girlfriend shared the same sentiment, he responded by telling me no, and he wouldn't bring it up because why would someone put that thought in their woman’s mind?

But MY GUY! And then he sent me this video

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cw2131urbYv/?igshid=NzVmZjhhN2QzYQ==

 

So, I agree and disagree with the justification behind this video. One, I don’t think she is talking about a boyfriend, I 100% believe she is talking about a husband in a marriage. I also don’t believe she is talking about breaking the sanctity of marriage and purposefully having multiple relationships or sexual encounters with different women.

She is also very old, so she was alive in the times when women could not survive without a man. So, I understand her mindset. She was also alive during a time when groceries were a nickel.

But I am not that type of woman. If you are sleeping with other women, and you are taking care of everything at home, why can’t I in turn sleep with other men if I am taking care of everything at home?

His response was that women are not prone to sleeping with multiple men. Which I guess is true? But a lot of women after the age of 30 get a “sexual second wind” which their sex drive increases exponentially. A lot of men in their 30s deal with erectile dysfunction issues, so I am not sure if that information is accurate.

Anyway, that is neither here nor there, I really just wanted him for sex, but he seems to think I want a relationship or something from him. He gets upset when I don’t ask how he is and that he always has to ask for sex.

Uh? Yeah? Because I have gotten to know you and I realize that you:

a.       Don’t make any money

b.      Cheat on your girlfriend for whatever reason

c.       Willing to justify bullshit

I don’t know if it's insecurity on his part or something, but I feel like he is run by money, and if he had more money, he wouldn’t have to pimp himself out to women to get it. Whatever it is I fell for the bullshit for a little because I was thinking with my vagina, but now that I think about it. He can’t provide me with anything that I can’t find somewhere else with someone who is willing to be faithful or at least close to it.

 Like, I seriously doubt everything at home is okay, not that it is for me to comment on. But shit doesn't make any sense to me. Are men hunters ALL the time? Does that mean no matter who you decide to spend your life with you will always be sharing him with another woman?

 

Cloud Diary P.2

My sleep was disturbed by the rays of sunlight trickling through the curtains.  It took me a minute to realize where I was. And who wasn't in the bed with me. 

I shot up out of the bed. Haez was looking at me with only what  I could assume was a smirk of amusement on his face.  

"What? You thought I had left?"  he asked, his smile growing ever wider.  I rolled my eyes, laid back down in bed, and covered my face to hide my embarrassment. 

The next thing I know, I have a man-sized weight pressing against the blanket. Haez yanked the cover over my face and gave me a quick peck on the lips. 

Childish Ass

"I'm not that n*gga, shawty," he said as he got up.

I dramatically rolled my eyes again, failing miserably to hide the wide smile that had crept up on my face. Haez went back to getting ready. He pulled out a couple of articles of clothing, some shoes, and..another cell phone?!?!

I sucked in a gust of air

Shit

I feigned a loud yawn and began ungracefully stretching when my fake yawn became a real one. I heard him chuckle. 

"You must have been really tired," he said as he buttoned up his shirt. I covered up another smile, "Why is that? Tried to wake me up?" I stretched again and sat up.

"Nah. Your phone was." he said, putting a leg inside a pair of shorts, then the other "It was ringing off da hook" he continued "You must have a fan club"

My smile faded immediately. I reached for my phone that was on the dresser and placed my thumb on the screen to unlock it.

The screen read:

'16 MISSED CALLS'

Shit!

One from Mom, one from Dad, and the rest from Barron. 

SHIT

I told his ass I was going to be out with a business partner

SHIT SHIT SHIT

Cloud Diary P.1

  "This is the third time you deleted a whole paragraph," Toni said to me as she munched on the bowl of Fritos I placed between us. I looked up at her and made a face. But she was right, I have been struggling with that to text Haez back ever since the other night in the dorms.

Fuck. I thought to myself as I deleted yet another paragraph of text.

"Why are you breaking up with him again?" she asked through bites.

" We can't break up if we aren't together" I responded back. Toni threw up air quotes, then popped another few chips in her mouth.

"He has a girlfriend," I said

"And?" she shot back

"I'm not a slut like you?" I said laughing. She shot me a bird and laughed back.

" No offense Sib', you have never been the one to care"

I looked away "I do now okay?"

"No, not okay," Toni said " I have literally SEEN you take what you wanted, not in a slut way but in a bad bitch way" She continued "WHY do you care about properly courting THIS n**a?"

I snorted. Me? Courting? Please.

Toni must have read my mind "YES. YOU." she said poking me in the arm. I flinched, her nails were coffin sharp. " You are trying to break up with the best piece you have ever had - Your words. Because he has somebody but clearly wants to kick it with you"

I love Toni but I swear she needs to shut up about this. She doesn't get it, Haez makes me not think straight. He makes me feel all warm, and then I forget about the rest of the world for a while. Next thing you know my grades slip and I lose my chance to finish law school! I have done it in the past with my boyfriends- forgetting everything about myself just to see a smile on his face, to get a hug.

Our night together, I could describe anything short of making love. I know he probably doesn't feel that way about me. He told me when we were together that he would never "disrespect the main". So any hope of him leaving her for me is dead.

Shanquella Robinson could have been anyone of us

 Shanquella Robinson, 25, a young, educated businesswoman from Charlotte, North Carolina, traveled to the town of San Jose Del Cabo, Mexico, on October 28, 2022, with her best friend of more than 5 years, Khalil Cooke, and a number of other close friends from college, including Malik Dryer, Wenter Dononvan, Alysse Hyatt, and Daejhanae Jackson. All except one checked into the Villa Linda that day, Nazeer Wiggins stated that he arrived a day later and wasn’t privy to the events that transpired that led to Shanquella’s death.

CNN reported that Shanquella's Mother, Salamondra Robinson had spoken to her daughter that morning, “seeming happy and excited for the trip”.  Shanquella had informed her mother that the group had a chef, and they were eating tacos.  Satisfied that her daughter was safe she said “Okay, enjoy yourself. Love you. I will talk to you tomorrow.” Little did she know that would be the last time she would hear her daughter’s voice.

The next day, Shanquella's Mother received a phone call from Khalil, stating Shanquella was resting because she was not feeling well; after throwing up from a hangover. Shanquella's mother asked Khalil to keep her informed and to have her daughter call her when she gets better. Shanquella’s mother wasn’t concerned because she felt that her daughter was amongst friends, they “especially Khalil” who would have Shanquella's best interest at heart.

Now, there are several vague details regarding what happened and the events leading up to the phone call to Shanquella’s mother:

According to one story, someone called the front desk after they noticed that Shanquella wasn’t “waking up”, the front desk notified a nurse who went to the room. Another story is that Shanquella was found unresponsive by the maid and the doctor was called to the Villa.

The doctor found Robinson with stable vital signs, but she was dehydrated and unable to communicate. The doctor was told that Robinson had “drunk a lot of alcohol.” When the suggestion was made that Ms. Robinson should be treated at a medical facility, the proposal was refused, the group insisting that she be treated at the Villa. The doctor then attempted to administer IV fluids, when Shanquella began having a seizure. At that point, one of Robinson’s friends called for an ambulance. At 4:49 p.m., when the doctor detected no pulse, she and one of Robinson’s friends began giving her CPR. Paramedics administered more rounds of CPR and adrenaline and discharges from a defibrillator. Robinson was pronounced dead at 5:57 p.m

At That time, Khalil called back later and said that 3 ambulances were at their Villa, and despite medical officials trying to help Shanquella; she passed away from alcohol poisoning.

The group left Mexico, coming back to the US, without Shanquella’s body. Reportedly, her family spent approximately six thousand dollars and two weeks for Shanquella’s body to be recovered, delays due to communication and transport issues.

It is said that   Khalil and the other ladies stopped by Shanquella Robinson’s mother’s home on several occasions, the first time to drop off their late friend’s luggage. During those visits the group made no efforts to clear up any circulating rumors that Mrs. Robinson’s daughter had been involved in an altercation, and were all telling conflicting stories, leading Mrs. Robinson to believe that the friends were hiding something.  Shanqualla’s sister even noted that during this time Khahlil had begun to act strange- He was nervous, sweating and constantly grabbing his beard – clear acts of guilt or distress.

But when the autopsy came, the coroner noted that her daughter had died of severe spinal cord trauma to her neck and atlas luxation (loosening or detachment of her first vertebra from the base of her skull), the report makes no mention of alcohol poisoning.  Photos released showed Shanquella’s face and eyes were swollen, her lips were split, with a knot on her forehead. After that time, Salamondra states that Khalil never returned to the house again.

 Although Authorities in Mexico have initially denied accusations to label this as foul play, several videos surfaced online that contradicts that claim: One of Shanquella herself walking in the Villa, searching for her friends, and seems to find them grouped up in another room of the property. The second video, was supposedly filmed by Khalil Cooke, videotaping a sleeping Shanquella saying, “We’ve got our first dead body” and repeating the sentiment several times.

The third video, showed a naked Shanquella getting punched in the head and slung to the ground by one of the girls she took the trip with, which viewers believe to be Daejhanae Jackson. You can see Shanquella clearly not fighting back, and when asked by the man recording (who we believe to be Khalil Cooke) "Quella can you at least fight"? Shanquella is heard saying "No!" But despite her cries, she continued to get attacked, punched in her head, face, back of her neck, and knees by “Ms. Jackson”.

Shortly after, Nazeer Wiggins took to Instagram live to explain his version of things, in hopes to clear his name.  This is where we learned that he was not due to arrive until the next day.  At the beginning of the live, Wiggins accounts that he is innocent and that he wasn’t there at the time of the alleged fights. He continues to say if he had been present, he would have stopped it from happening.  He ended the video, by asking viewers to “leave him and his family in peace”, alluding to threats and harassment he and his family has received since his return from Mexico.

Two more videos are rumored to exist- one featuring the voice of one of the 6, Wenter Donovan explaining her variation of the story. Donovan admits to the fight happening, but Shanquella was the instigator because “she was drunk” and another supposedly starring Donovan and Robinson and Winter was noted to have body slammed Robinson, but neither one of these videos has been verified.

Recently there have been several updates that Daejhanae Jackson had been arrested and taken into custody, but to date, no video, arrest record, or formal statement has been made to substantiate that information.

         The Mexican authorities changed their tune recently about the “Cabo 6”, investigating Ms. Robinson’s death now as femicide- the term used in the killing of a woman based on her gender.  We were able to confirm a warrant has been issued but have yet to learn the name of the person on the warrant.  We are currently unaware if the U.S authorities intend to cooperate with Mexican police, despite the FBI in Charlotte opening a subsequent investigation.

         A little over two months later, Salamondra and Bernard Robinson are still waiting for answers from Mexican authorities, the NC FBI, or even the “Cabo 6” as to the events leading to their daughter’s death and who will be punished for it. The State Department is tight-lipped- and rightfully so, about proceedings that involve the extradition of  U.S citizens. When a citizen of the United States passes away abroad, local authorities are in charge of identifying the cause of death, according to the State Department, which also stated that it is supporting and monitoring the inquiry into Shanquella's death. 

  A GoFundMe account has been set up on behalf of Shanquella Robinson, and thanks to social media, helped reach the eyes and ears of celebrities and other prominent social figures such as K. Michelle, Kyrie Erving, Tamika Mallory and Spectacular Smith. Upwards to $275,000 has been said to have been earned on her behalf. 

Put some Respeck on My Name!

So,  I told you I  have no idea how to work out right?  I have never had to. I ate what I wanted and I never got any bigger no matter what it was. I literally am made up of 80% chocolate and the other 20% is pure unadulterate rage lol. So imagine my surprise and denial when I stepped on the scale and I gained like 20 pounds. Horrified is NOT the word. I decided that  THIS YEAR! I am going to make some serious changes in my life. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOjkiioMtoc

Imagine my surprise when one of my friends on Facebook is dating a girl who has a history of being an athlete with her own vlog. It was like a sign that I couldn't ignore. So as of January 1, 2022, I have not been drinking soda, I have cut down my juice intake and increased my water intake. I have already shed some pounds too! 

So to all you who have weight loss goals #YouAreNotAlone ! We will be on this journey to a better body together! I know for a FACT I am going to hate this (because I hate change) but I am going to LOVE my flat stomach! Summer body anyone?!? 

Since I don't  know anything about working out, I have amillion and a half questions!  Like what is the best workouts for my fitness goals? How will my allergies affect my weight loss journey? And alot of others! I am off to do some research!